Cat to Cat Play

This play guide is a process to help you ensure cats are feeling comfortable during play. We will talk about red and green flags. The goal is to equip you with knowledge that play is okay – or not.

Overview

This guide is designed to help you assess cat play, including whether one cat is enjoying it and not. The goal is to build confidence in recognising signs of worry and overwhelm and joy.

Principles

• Be in the know: Play can be very fast – videoing it can be helpful

• Stay below threshold: Having options to move away from play is key – such as a different room

• Safety first – cushions can help you guide kittens away from each other if you are unsure. So can lick-e-lix or Feliway snack. Both are longer as are in a tube.

• High value rewards – small freeze dried chicken can be a distraction tool.

• Ensure all cats are enjoying play – some cats find other cats to be a play item – this can scare them.

Phases

Phase 1 – understand key principles of cat play

Phase 2 – spot body language signs a cat is worried or happy

Phase 3 – Interrupting play

Phase 1

Play is not always social bonding – it can be an individual trait or a by product of the environment – i.e misdirected play on another cat. Misdirected play (on a cat, or leg, not on an object can look like) chasing, can be silent, to one person or many, on somthign that is moving i.e a leg, poncing, grabbing, bite, kick, stalking, ambushing and scratching. Because these body postures are similar to behaviour that can suggest a cat wants something to move  away it can be confusing.

For example in behaviour that is saying go away to another cat/ person you may also see:

Scratching

Bites

Vocalising 

Stalking

Postures that indicate play such as:

Pouncing

Bum wiggling

These are positive emotional states.

This is why it is so important to be able to differentiate body postures from play postures and think wtf! (what is the function), is it pseudo prey or are they using defensive and offensive behaviours and trying to attack legs not because they want to play but some other reasons.

Social play can promote confidencd. Play through hunting can be seen too – this is not always be a desire to find food – it can be fun.

Reference: Mikel Delgado, play talk, I Cat Care 2025)

Also it is important to think about if a cat is in the same social group as the other cat. For example, do they take it in turns to engage in affliative behaviour (grooming each other for example). This suggests they have trust in one another as they are gathering information by doing this). Video footage can be helpful for this and doing it over a month can be very helpful.

Reference: What is a good multi cat household (I Cat Care 2025)

Phase 2

Red flags

·      Are they sprinting or bundling each other?

·      Are their claws out?

·      Hissing can be a sign of unhappiness

·      Is one cat choosing to move away?

Green flags

·      Are they taking it in turns to play?

·      Is it silent?

·      Can they be distracted?

·      Is it rough but still inhibited

·      Is it mutual?

·      There are no injuries

·      Are head and ears turning away?

·      Are eyes soft?

·      Is body position loose and relaxed?

·      Are they springy in terms of body language?

·      Is one giving chase when another moves away?

Signs of tension can be

• Staring

• Blocking food/litter tray/ stairs

Here are some body language behaviours a cat may do if they are feeling worried:

• Create distance between them and what they are nervous of. Speediness can equate higher fear.

• Hiding in an attempt to conceal themselves.

• Altered eating – they may lose weight or only eat at certain times when it is quieter

• Hypervigilance – they may sleep but with one eye open or with squinted eyes so they can keep an eye on what is occurring around them.

• Not grooming as much

• Becoming startled easily

• Decreased play and exploring behaviour

If a cat is scared and has no easy option to move away or feel that they are being threatened, they can move to being defensive rather than fleeing. If a cat does not have options to move away they can feel frustrated and this emotion can then repulsive behaviours can occur.

Tips for success

• If in doubt leave it out

• Video it so you can slow it down

Breaking down behaviours if you are unsure

Think about where, when time of day, body language before and after and who the behaviour is towards. Doing a play audit to see what opportunities for play there are can also help. (Delgado, 2025)

Reasons for misdirected play can include:

• Hunger

• Attention seeking

• A learned response (as it evokes attention – even loud noises can be rewarding)

• Compulsive behaviour (why a vet check is important)

• Boredom

• Low frustration tolerance – an ability to not control impulses.

What should be in your cats environment?

Boxes, puzzle feeders, independent play, play with adults.

Everyone should remember (inc visitors)

That play on feet and hands should not be encouraged (it may be sweet in some cases in kittenhood but not in adult hood)

Intense petting may lead to over arousal and bites

Screaming can lead to a more intense response (sometimes boots can be very helpful)

Stimulation

This will depend on individual cats but here is a rough guide (some cats  can tip over on stimulation and be too heightened and then behaviours that are too over enthusiastic can come up – this could look like biting or scratching). Rotation of toys can keep things interesting.

Ideas for less active cats

Tactile stimulation

Smells

Puzzle feeders

Play behind items such as cardboard (hidden prey)

Ideas for more active cats

Training 

Play on vertical safe spaces

High prey drive toys such as da bird (on soft surfaces)

You can create an enrichment calendar for things to do each day.  It could look like:

Monday – training

Tuesday – puzzle feeding

Wednesday – Da Bird

Thursday – Box and paper play with toys

Friday – Cat nip bubbles with a fan

Saturday – Cat nip and plants

Sunday – Moving fish/ cat tv

Phase 3

Mis- directed play

Redirecting play that is on your ankles and calves (this can hurt)!

Carry around small toys in your pocket that you can throw as your walk past- so you are moving but they are moving away towards something else.

Suitable outlets are needed – just like we are social species a cat needs to have other ways of interacting with us.

Attention seeking behaviour

Clicker /marker training (in another course) can help you to train behaviours that are mentally stimulating and also that prevent behaviours from occurring these could be :

• Settle

• Go to a mat/ target

• Stay

• Another cat?

This will take a lot of consideration , and needs to be right for your cat.

Things to consider (and we delve in deeper to this) 

• Introductions to your current cat(s)

• The temperament of the new cat

• Money – more vet, food, equipment bills

• Whether the new cat actually enjoys playing or not 

(Delgado, Mikel, 2025, I cat Care Conference).

Conclusion

For personalised training and guidance you can book a Cat Training Consultation today where we do a home tour video and send videos for me to look over. There is also a whole lecture on different play options for your cat on this conference from 2025.